Time for a pep talk

September 23, 2015

The underlying driver of all of our behaviour is that little voice inside our head.  Yes, our thoughts. The process of thought is a simple one:

 

Our thought causes a feeling that then goes on to influence our behaviour. Here’s an example – our alarm clock goes off in the morning and we start the day with some negative thoughts “Oh no not another early start! The kids are never going to be ready in time to leave the house. Why didn’t I get some stuff ready last night, I’ve got so much to do now. We’re going to be late again!”.

The feelings that will be caused by these thoughts are going to be pretty yucky. More than likely some kind of discomfort around the stomach area, a crashing headache and a general feeling of being zapped of energy and motivation. You can imagine the likely resulting behaviour in your household on this morning. You’re likely to be short tempered, snappy, irritable and not very nice to be around! The whole household will be affected by your mood and the morning you predicted would go badly, does in fact go badly.

Let’s see how we could influence the success of the morning by changing just one thing. Our thoughts when we awake. How about if we were to replace the above thoughts with more empowering ones? Yes it’s an early start, yes there’s a lot to do and yes there is a chance we could be late if we don’t hurry up. Time for a  pep talk to ourselves rather than a telling off. 

“Right, how can I make sure that everything get’s done on time? Perhaps I could get the kids to pack their own lunch to free up my time to sort the laundry pile and  get the uniform ironed. How can I make sure that the kids are out of bed in time? Perhaps I’ll wake them 5 minutes earlier to give us an extra bit of leeway”. 

The difference between the first round of thoughts and the second is an important, but simple one. The first is focusing on the problem, the second is focusing on the solution. The use of the word ‘how’ is a simple way to turn a problem into a solution and a negative thought spiral into a pep talk.

Being kind to ourselves is vital as a parent and we are often all to quick to put ourselves down or lose faith in what we are trying to achieve with our children. Staying in a positive frame of mind as well as getting you better results, also demonstrates to your children the power of a positive mindset. See what a difference an internal pep talk can make today! 

 

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This post was written by Beth Parmar